What I Think About

Hello, readers. In the name of keeping all things bonny around here, I thought I would share some amusing facts I learned this week. I received an assignment at my job (you know, that little distraction that keeps me from writing nothing but bonny blog entries all day) to write a promotion for a zoo. Included in the project brief was a handy dandy printout entitled, “Animal Collective Names.” And while it did little to help me with my project, it has provided hours of amusement as I sit at my wee little desk. In the name of humor and hilarious visuals, I have decided to share some of the words that have kept me going this week.

 

Animal           Group Name

(singular)            (plural)

 

Alligator             Congregation (“I call this meeting to let you know that there are too many wildebeest thriving these days.”

Bat                      Cloud (If you are fortunate enough to see a group of bats in flight, they do resemble a cloud!)

Cobra                 Quiver (Now, who would really quiver in this situation? My call, Indian Jones.)

Cockroach         Intrusion (Indeed!)

Elephant            Memory (Elephant, memory, AHH HAHAHAHA!)

Emu                    Mob (“So listen up, pal. You have three seconds until I steal your wool and take     over your side of the grazing hill!”)

Ferret                 Fesnying or business (What the hell is a “fesnying? Also, imagine a ferret in a          business suit, just for a moment. Please.)

Flamingo            Flamboyance (Clearly.)

Giraffe                 Tower (Also, clearly.)

Guinea Fowl      Confusion (“Wait. Let me get this straight. You are a what? From where? G…?        I am just… wait... oh...)

Jellyfish            Smack (I always imagined the funny sound they would make if I were ever brave    enough to take a whack at a jellyfish. Or… smack.. rather.)

Nightengale      Watch (but what? I can not see! It is at night!)

Rattlesnake      Rumba (“Would you like to dance, RLes?” Actually, rattlesnakes are solitary          creatures. I know because I live in Texas. So having a dance party would be              difficult. But if you are ever lucky enough to come upon one of these fabulous          rattler parties, please let me know!

Rhinoceros       Stubborness (“I’m telling you for the LAST TIME, Ino! You hear me? The last         time!”)

Swallow            Gulp (“No, no, no. Gulp, then swallow. Then swallow!”) 

 

I kill myself.

 

Also, this informative print out ended with this note; “Another animal group that you may consider is a nag of wives and a jerk of husbands.”

 

Happy Friday. I am going to finish my work beer and go home.