Greetings from the Green Planet

I am delighted to be a part of the bright and dizzyingly happy festivities here at A Bonney Blog. I am not only Anna Beth's biggest fan, but if you're also a fan of Anna Beth, then I'm your biggest fan, too. Cheers all around.

[Unless you claim to be Anna Beth's biggest fan. In that case, I challenge you to a thumb war. I've never lost.]

A few notes on the following poem are in order. In keeping with the general tone of this place, I decided to try my hand at a poem about what you might call "universal" love. That is, the love we are capable of holding towards all people at any time—the Greeks would say Agape (since I know so much about Greek and stuff). I am satisfied with how I treated my theme, but now that it's finished it reads a bit darker than what you're probably accustomed to finding around here. But it ends well.

Another thing. This poem is heavily influenced by the rolling style of Bob Dylan's epic Americana poem, "Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie." Dylan's poem is very, very long. Mine is only pretty long (I'm twelve words shy of a thousand). His, of course, is much better.

This poem is meant to be heard rather than read. So, here is a recording, followed by the text. That way, if you want, you can feel free to read along with this thing, here.

I Guess

There's a funny feelin' in yer fingerbones

And a tightness in yer head

And you can't remember how yer chest

Got filled up with all them heavy chunks of lead

And yer knees are wobblin' and yer eyes are saggin'

And yer skin is rubberin' like it does when you're dead

And you suspect it's been a long time, but you don't really know

Since the last night you spent sleepin' in yer own room and bed

"It's time to get movin'," you keep sayin' to yerself

Time to start actin' on all them feelin's you've felt

You were gonna meet strangers with stories to tell

And read all them books still settin' up on that shelf

You were gonna write movies, you were gonna save lives

You were gonna take this old world and cut it down to size

At least you were gonna try

You say with a sigh

And you put yer head back down to work until five

Thinkin', "Jesus Christ, I know I used to be alive

I used to wear clothes that made me feel smart

I used to have controversial thoughts about art

I used to drink milkshakes and sing songs and play pranks

Clamoring around in my small, noisy car

What happened to me? Am I failed this soon?

Am I trapped in this white, uncarpeted room

Sweepin' with no straw on my broom?

Spinnin' with no yarn in my loom?

Singin' with no words for my tune?

Lookin' at my hands, wonderin' what they've done

to deserve this early, special kind a' doom?"

It's like yer whole body's been hangin' from a concrete chain

Wanderin' around on the streets that way

Then your head starts noddin'

And your mouth starts yawnin'

'Cause you feel like sleepin' even though you're out walkin'

But, what if, you then think, that's what you're already doin'?

It's a nightmare, alright,

This lonely newspaper world

And you're mad at yerself for givin' it a whirl

And yer mother writes you letters

That you've learned to ignore

And yer father's upset that you don't call anymore

So you eat noddles for dinner and you think it's the end

But you wake up again

Like you always do, my friend

You don't know what you're missin' and you don't know how to get it

And you're sad 'cause you didn't even know it back when you had it

So I want you to hear this

I want you to listen

Because I'd be cruel to keep it

It'd be rotten to hide it

And besides, it'd take root in my head and start growin'

Twistin' and turnin' until it was bigger than me

And I don't want to feel my skull all of a sudden

Flowering out like a mushroom explodin'

So I just gotta say it, and get you to hear it

Get some a' these plants into some other garden

Get some a' these cards into some other deck

Get some a' this whiskey into some other glass

Get some a' these zeros off of my bill

Put one a' these pies on some other folk's windowsill

Where it'll get a fairer chance at bein' served up on a plate

On a proper table, with a fork and cold milk

And that's really what I want, I guess

I want you to smell it, I want you to eat it

I want you chew it up with your teeth

And feel all them grainy bits up in your gums

In the back of your cheeks, and under your tongue

And I want you to savor all them funny strings and lumps

'Cause I know the problem that's got you and me

I've seen the dog holdin' on with its teeth

I've seen that gun drawn out of its sheath

I've felt them sweats at a quarter to three

When I'd wake up at night, and it was always just me

And that's it right there, to sum it up in a line

It ain't that you're scared

And it ain't that you're tired

It ain't that you're poor

And it ain't that you realized someday soon you won't be around anymore

No, what's hurtin' yer heart is that there's nobody with you

To make it hurt more

Which is easy to say and you've probably even thought it before

But you didn't wanna admit you can't make it alone

Through this shattered glass world

Of asphalt and bone

And maybe talk is cheap but I'm tellin' ya you can't

There ain't any water where you're tryin' to swim

There ain't any words where you're tryin' to read

The car that you're drivin' ain't got any gas

And you're hopin' that next hill's momentum'll last

To take you up the one after that

And I'm tellin' you, friend, that's gonna end bad

'Cause there's only one bottle you can pull from

There's only one tunnel you can go through

And it ain't on a highway

And it ain't in film

And it ain't in a coffeehouse

And it sure as hell ain't never found comin' out of no politician's mouth

It's simpler than that, and it's probably nearby

And yes I mean someone

But I don't mean your friends

You need a whole lot more than just them

You need someone who won't thank you for carin'

Someone who, when it's found out you been helpin'

Will raise the eyebrows of both of your parents

Someone who hates you

Someone who'd kill you

Someone who'd treat you like you were a child

And noone would notice when you just replied with a smile

And maybe I'm wrong, and maybe I'm dead

But if that ain't love

If that ain't what it is

Then what else could I, or you, or anybody at all

If that ain't love

What else could I a' said?